EMBODIMENT

To be in my body. It's a fairly new awakening. I've known about this mind/body connection for quite some time but I have spent at least 3/4 of my life in my head exploring and diving deep into layers upon layers of stories and creations of it's making. Feeling into the body; listening and witnessing her stories and the ways they are deeply woven into the fabric of my tissues and bones and fascia and breath...this is really new. I've been practicing asana for over 20 years now, at least half my life and it's only recently I've really been able to feel into my tissues beyond whatever physical sensation I might be experiencing at the moment. My practice has allowed me over time to drop out of my head and into my heart, bringing mindfulness and intention into her medicine and wisdom. From this center I hear my ancestors who weave the stories that have created my blueprint. I've been practicing what I call somatic embodiment. There is a remembering that happens here where awareness draws into the body: emotional, physical, energetic, intellectual as the breath weaves throughout increasing clarity and a deeper understanding of self. It is here, in these last few years, that I have truly begun to know the truth of my story and the alchemy of my own inner landscape.

I had a therapist years ago teach me a practice as I was deep in therapeutic process and unable to drop out of the repetitive patterns of my mind. I sat with mind; I listened to her voice keenly and then asked her to pause. With hand on my heart center I asked my mind to allow my heart five minutes to speak. The mind's job is to build the ego and when given full reign will do just that grooving in those paths deeper and deeper with each round. So as I sat, assuring her that I would return after the heart's five minutes, something softened. I felt a resonance in the center of my chest and my beautiful mind rested. I felt. Deeply. Witness to my blueprint and the truth that sits deep within my core. Embodying my whole nature; fully integrating into essence. It didn't last long but I touched a different kind of awareness that day. And it came with a lot of love and infinitely less criticism. Apparently the building of my personal ego had a rocky foundation and left me a little left of center most of the time with an overactive mind and completely cut off from the neck down.

So here I am, with this new awakening. Observing once again something outside of the realm of my "teachings." Feeling into my body, experiencing my breath throughout my entire landscape, acknowledging the intellectual body and senses that make up the various layers of my experience and the power that lies in strengthening all of them into the absolute Truth. I have witnessed, in brief moments, the soul integration that arises from a strong and awakened ego. When I allow the language of feeling to guide, ego begins to re-calibrate and attune to her primary job; balancing my tamasic (inert) and rajasic (active) natures. I become more awakened to the nuances that are my own human experience and how they ebb and flow; bob and weave with the larger experience around me. I am listening intently when a frequency isn't resonating, then inviting the breath into that space. Each time, my beautiful mind softens the volume a little more as the body leads the dance between breath and awareness, bringing me back to this moment. Again and again. Where my feet are touching earth, my heart is open, and my breath is free.

I am learning that the wisdom of my body holds my history. My breath unravels my mind's poor stitching. And my heart brings me back to my whole self, where all the parts and pieces are seen, heard, loved, and valued for their contribution. Embodied. In Truth. Breathing in compassion. Breathing out love. Coming back home again and again. Here. Now. Awake to what is happening within and around me; feeling into the collective and allowing it to feel me as I re-tune my frequency to the higher vibration that will allow me to keep feeling into this human experience. This is my practice for now: Feel more; think less. Care to join me on this journey?